Desmond Cusick's Diary

Captain Greaves is back in town, and he brought with him forty kegs of very excellent rum. At fifty per keg, it was an excellent deal. I can turn a nice profit from that. Perhaps a different label is in order, however. I am not fond of selling alcohol named for screaming pants, no matter how good it may be.

I accidentally discovered Finch's sister, Alexis, as well. I didn't speak much with her, but she was in the house the night I followed Ilse there. I remember smelling her.

Ilse's brother, Imre, is alive. Not only alive, but here in Bleaker. She discovered him, apparently. I don't know the details; she rushed out of here in a hurry. She is with him now.

It's strange sleeping here without her.

( 'Des, Papa died...three years after Imre just...well *vanished*, really. So when he asked how he was...' [Ilse] )

Ilse returns home to pick up a few things to take to Imre. She stays at her brother's for the night. Desmond is still nauseated. This log is very short.

It is impossible for me to deny my feelings for Ilse. I cannot let the Blood Meridian force me to abandon her. And I won't.

I was a fool last night. I let myself hurt two very important women in my life. Nick was right: I should not have forced Gretchen to make such a decision. Then again, she should not have presented one such decision to me. And I should not have allowed her to. I need to find her today and set things right.

One thing I am grateful for is the light that I have been shown. I have been far too idle, allowing myself to grow soft. The children are to be adopted out. With any luck, they will all be gone by this time next week. Publicity has drummed up quite a lot of sympathy for them in the general shifter populace, and I am sure homes will be easy to find.

Meanwhile, I will be purchasing the building in Old Koreatown today, and I will begin furnishing it immediately. The sooner our base of operations is moved, the less likely we are to be rooted out. Too many people know the location of our headquarters now. It is time we changed districts.

I look forward to seeing what interesting little toys Zu finds for us. Tearing down this zoo will be a pleasure, as will be the thwarted slaver patrols.

It's time the Blood Meridian renewed its reputation.

( 'It is /your/ vision that is meant to be guiding them. A true leader can admit when he is in the wrong, certainly -- but if you are not, there is no reason to break under such pressure.' [Navarre, Ilse, Finch, Alexis] )

After the big blow-up at HQ, Ilse retreats to Finch's house, where Navarre is paying a visit. Desmond follows. The couple make up, and for once, Navarre and Desmond semi-sorta get along. Or at least Desmond doesn't snap at the Wolf Lord.